Solo Dates

I find great comfort in taking myself out, most recently many trips to the cinema (thanks Tesco Clubcard points). The older I get the more I realise how important it is to be content in your own company, whether in a relationship or single. And the truth is, solo dates are so freeing: you are not under any pressure, time constraints, decisions, or turn-taking- you can do what you please and decide when you leave.

I do love spending time with family and friends, really, but by myself I do not have to be a certain version of myself, I can be them all- a myriad of madness. I like to outstay my welcome: wait until the credits have ended on a film, read every description of paintings, walk the full length of a park, take mental notes of things to come back to or research. That may sound annoying to most, but it is a feeling of wholeness, that I have given myself to that moment entirely.

It can be a lonely existence when you dwell on others' popularity and extensive circles, expectations of others' behaviour and love, conflicting schedules that never seen to align. But in this life, you must hold your own hand before you let others, allow them in, though not when you are empty.

You must be full on your own.

A lesson from my mother, I emulate, thank you.

People-watch, nature-watch- the seasons change. Let your inner child out to breathe- God knows they need it.

Find your passion- what sets your soul on fire? Feed into it with time and energy. Reward yourself, be kind to yourself, listen to yourself- be selfish. Say "no", mute, cancel, don't feel guilty.

It is far from easy to put your needs first and there are times I find myself giving more to others than I have, which ends in spiralling- "will I always be alone?"; "will I always feel alone?" In those times be gentle, reframe the question: "why do I feel alone?"; "what can I control to not feel alone?" because you are never alone.

<3 AO <3